Clerkship

Finally what i have been waiting for is as near as my footstep, by early next month, i have to decide which rotation that i wish to go through first. One of my worst nightmares......it didnt really bother me initially. Now, because i have been laid back in searching for my true interest in medicine has caused such a choas in my thoughts right now. Do i want to become a surgeon or physician? Neither has cause any sparks so far. Or i should say, i have not been shadowing enough to find that spark. I have been troubled with this since the first day i reach Calgary. Although endless advice have been directed to me in searching for something that i can practice without regrets for the rest of my life, i was lazy and unmotivated. Now, i am in deep trouble. I am afraid that the impact of a busy life of a surgeon could jeorpadise my dream of building a family with good foundation yet i am in love with the anatomy of human beings. I wish to have a lot of communication with my patients, and it seems that becoming a physician could offer me endless interactions, but the endless illnesses that bug human beings send wind chills straight through my spine. I just dont understand how and why stress could intensified itself one after another. Apparently, the US residency training is gonna be a 100 times worse than the 'suffering' that we are getting in our clerkship. It's not the process of looking after the sick patients that cause all these pain, it's the politics, the selfish, snobbish and insensible attitudes of the people (those people that we regarded them highly all these while) that we have to put up with when we are working under them.