Kokoro

Just finish reading that "book" (this is the first time I finish reading a book that was downloaded online! Though it was tiring, it was worthy the effort at last!) I read the English version translated by Edwin McClellan

Kokoro, by Natsume Soseki. Kokoro from what I read, literally means "heart" and translated as "heart of things" or "feelings". It's another book that touches me deeply. Although I wasn't moved by the "tragedy" that happened in the story but I believe it's because the feelings was lost in translation. However, it's still something worth reading and worthy a recommendation.

This book made me think of friendship, family relationship, and mindset of grown-up and also human feelings - love, self-serving, guilt, indecisiveness, insecurity and egoism. It's a book that translate one feelings in a very subtle way and yet it could be felt deeply.

We human in general tend to be selfish (ok, I don't wish to be over-generalized here! there are people who risk their life for others, for someone they don't even know), the slogan "service above self" probably can only happen when we are not really under extreme misery. I don't how I would act in those situations, I am probably not any better than any selfish chap out there! However, I do believe that I’ll never let anyone die before my eyes, I strongly believe that or else I wouldn't be doing what I am doing now. But what about issues concerning our daily life. Are we putting our own needs above everyone else?

Love, how much a relationship means to human? Should one still continue living with their supposedly other half even though they no longer trust each other or they no longer share the same philosophy of life like how they used to? I am not sure if they are doing so just because they still retain the feelings that got them together initially.

Friendship, I do believe this is important in choosing one other's half. Coz I believe that friends are those that will grow up with you and be with you no matter what. You might think that I am naive but friendship does have it utmost importance in me as long as you are who I called friend! Therefore, one's future half should be no other than one really good friend just so that he will be growing up with you and both of you will never grow out of each other. However (I am starting to contradict myself now), friends do grow out of each other. I had a few perfect examples. Sighyyy........relationship is such a hard thing to understand. All I know is that if we are never sincere to each other, our friendship will never last. I swear I tell the truth all the time whether it's going to be something unpleasant or not. If I am not doing so, if I am not being sincere all the time, I believe one day, you will not understand me anymore and finally grow out of me. I don't want to hear any flattering things about me if it's not what you are really thinking. (Note: please don’t be so Canadian, ok??) Please don't wear a mask in front of me. Why can't everyone live their life simple? Why is human created with all those feelings that I have stated above?? I appreciate every single moment when I could meet with friends that I need not pretend to be someone I am not. I don’t know why I am currently letting myself believing everyone is living with their mask on. Not that I have gone through any bad experience concerning that but I think I am getting more fragile in this issue and this made me less-sociable. It is because of stories that I heard that scared me even before I am able to experience it?

Guilt can ruin one life totally, I have to agree and that’s what happens to Sensei (in the book). It changed his life forever. Why one has to be so afraid of facing the music when you are also tormenting others when you are not telling what’s in you? Is it because of egoism?

Is this modern era creating more human with loneliness?? Is it true that all the new technology now makes people stick to themselves more and less socialising!???

Wonder, when can i get answers to all these!