passion?

yein has been stressing out with her younger sis's application to go into med school. Her sis being young and naive, doesnt know much on how to go around when tough gets going. However, she still insists on studying medicine although the road is getting rocky. The passion is still burning strong in her. yein asked me if it's really worth going through all this for the sake of passion when we are all well aware that she'll not have any better days being in the same field as us in the future.

At that point, i started to question myself. Do i still have that passion i once had? I boldly answered that "i lost it all". Sometimes i really dont know why i am continuing all this. Needless to mention again that the stress is tremendous, after 4 1/2 years in med school and there's still at least 6 years to go before i can get my specialist license, the time needed for one to complete their training is absolutely draining. No wonder more than 50% of physicians will admit that at one point of their life they regretted choosing this profession.

I can sense that my stress level is collectively getting higher again......keeping my finger cross that i'll do well in usmle. Everyday i got to remind myself that i have to ace it. Everyday I have to try hard to lift myself out from any other problems in my mind. Everyday i see myself becoming more vulnerable. But i shall take this test with all my strength for whoever/whatever sake. For people who've been supporting me or for my future, i know i don't have a choice.

note: i just have to mention again that yakyoku cries what's exactly in my heart.
......naite naite naite doushite hito wa konna ni yowai no darou?.......