Countdown

In the midst of cleaning up my house, i suddenly went on thinking how my life will change over the coming few months. No matter what, my work will be able to keep me occupied. This is one of the main reasons why we should have a job that we love. How boring is my life when all i can think of is work. Maybe it is because :
work = money = necessities & luxury = survival + some form of happiness (???)
Does this equation make any sense? Do i actually need to work if i don't want necessities and luxury? I guess the answer would be "no" but i will not survive. So, i am back to ground zero.

I am still searching for something more meaningful that i should do in my life. What is my role as a member in this earth? Maybe, i should just focus on treating my patients or getting high scores in my exam or answering question like a genius or working like a mad horse. Maybe, i am already in a position that i have been searching for which is, "please, just concentrate to become a noble physician!!!". However, i really need some kind of enlightening experience elsewhere to allow me to learn appreciate more of what i am doing now or to know what i want to do with my life. Where can i find the answer? Who can provide me that form of guidance? Who can answer my questions? This is the million dollar question.

I am not more confused, it has been status quo for as long as i remember. Being in love with surgery only dealt with my perplexity temporarily. It is a relieve when i am distracted with something else but when i am left alone, that question arises again...


(-_-)*** i guess, i sound lost