Light of life

Mich, i am going through my midlife crisis. Still recall that it hit you strongly few months back. I really don't understand why we have to go through all these kind of stresses. Did we intentionally create the root of what we struggling with now so that we could grow stronger from it?

I really really misses oscar, without this companion of mine, i don't know how to release my stress evenly.

Now i am wondering why i am even alive? (no, there's no suicidal element in it!) But i seriously don't know why we are here? I don't know why i am working this hard all the time. I really don't know where i am heading to. Don't tell me that we are here for a reason.....that is yet unknown. Please enlighten me.