Deep thoughts

Again, i am not sure whether what's happening to me now will actually turn out to be in the form of "blessing in disguise". Failing my board exam did shut off my mind for a while....i really feel like stepping away from what i've always yearned to be. With such evaluations and connections i made in NY only made me feeling mad against my inability to perform well in my board exam. Things would have been easier if my exam results was going towards the higher end.

I understand what i was writing in the para above is not what a correct mind should be thinking. Me being me, will tell you now that i have decided to continue my quest and will continue to shine.

Yuko is going come to Canada in less than a month!! Aug 26,2005. This gal has never fell short of being my source of inspiration. The fact that she's leaving Japan, her family and her beloved dog at this point of her life for the first time to a whole new world really amazes me. I am still very proud of her achievement in getting a placement in Bch of Psychology. Praying hard that her road will not be a rocky one and things will only get better for her.

Michelle, how's life going? Have you decided that cosmetic line is what you really want to do? Or you'll continue to look for something else later when you have settle down a little?

This life journal of mine really helps me to release my stress and keep my emotions in check! I figure that the point where i am open and willing to tell people the truth in my life is the point where i am truly comfortable being who i really am. Again, one doesn't need to remember anything if one is telling the truth all the time.

Oh ya....one of my fav surgeons in this trip share her thoughts about surgery with me. She told me to remember this " there's nothing such as small surgery, there's only small surgeon. " Understand this saying? (-_-)

Wonderful experience!

One will be able to tell if i love my current team by listening to me. If i am totally in love with what i am doing or with the people that i work with, i can brag about it endlessly.

Working in the Breast Surgery team in Presbyterian-Columbia University Hospital, NY had been nothing but wonderful. My attendings are the best people that you can work with and learn from. And of course, a fine and flawless evaluation entailed made it the sweetest possible entry! =) I have never seen such a perfect evaluation since i started my clerkship...this piece of paper definitely spur me to continue giving my best as things shouldn't go wrong if i continue my current performance.

I am in love with surgery more than i ever was. I can tell you that i don't want to swap being a surgeon for anything other medical specialties.

New York.......there's something in this city that is unique in a way that i am begining to like it a lot. Weird but true!

Now....back to Calgary soon....and continue my journey to get the MD!

(-_-)**

Happy Birthday Cecilia! :) Long distance chatting has never able to block our chatty box trait to glow!!! hehehehe

Oh my.....living in this part of the world does make goose bumbs appearing all the time. After residing in a safe and quiet area like Calgary for a lot of months tamed me totally. Gone (hopefully for a while) is the city girl who use to hang around the midtown KL, even nearing Petaling Street and sometimes the dirty Chow Kit....now left a girl who actually feels terribly insecure, feeling threatened to walk back to her rented premise from the subway station which is barely 10 min away even when the sky is bright! The type of people standing along the street, from the apartment windows and inside the messy grocery stores ; starring at you, will make your mind slip into the movie world- where gangster and violence prevail. That's what in my mind everyday when i am walking back to 124 th Street, Uptown Manhattan.

The sense of insecurity doesnt stop even when i am all locked up in this fully furnished room in a pre-war apartment lot. The feelings that someone might broke in is always there. With noises breaking the silence that i have every half and hour or so doesn't help my situation at all. I swear that i have never know that there can be these many types of hard-to-categorise noise actually exist! At 10pm, radio; 11pm, racing car engine; 12pm, loud chatting and singing; 1am,police car; 2am, weird glass breaking sound; 3am, some rock music??; at 5am,here comes the garbage truck; 6am, the tow car x 2; 7am, my alarm clock!! ;)

I didnt know that a small community can produce so much rubbish daily!!!!! It amazes me on the amount of garbage collected by the roadside (from the apartment residents) without fail every single morning!!!!!! Wonder what these people eat or because they just party every night?

(-_-) that i'll be able to meet Yein every weekend in one piece!!!

Palpitation

Hm.......i am now in uptown Manhattan....= Harlem! This is not exactly the best place to live in town! A lot of blacks and Spanish hispanic around! That's what make thing a little scary.

Keeping finger crossed that i'll be home safe and sound everyday and will be able to fly back to Calgary as soon as possssssibbble!!!

I Love NYC

Now i totally understand why that shirt is on sale everywhere in NY and it's one of the best-seller item. This city has its own beauty, its own character and so much more to offer. I can feel that i will like this city just after my second day here.

From shopping, to food, to endless of attractions, to expensive cars, to the colors and variaties of people; this concrete city is truly attractive. My friends didn't lie when they told me that New York is a place for me. True enough, i think i wouldn't mind staying at this part of the world.

Will write more to see if I will change my mind. Anyway, i don't think it's up to me to choose if i can really stay here for life.