Breath in, Breath out

Everytime when i click into those websites that link to my residency application, the feeling of being suffocated arise by itself. I really hope that at the end of the day i can be a general surgery resident.

Step 1 is here again on Monday, i really don't know what to wish for anymore. Am i govern by faith? I am actually ready to go to Memorial if that's where i meant to go.

D-Day...yet again in less than a week time.

She is not sure what's destined for her but she's going to take this challenge again. Life has never been tougher with her future still unclear. She has whined and whined and whined endlessly but things still seems to be far from perfect. Maybe it's time for her toaccept that there'll never be perfection. However, that is so unlikely to happen now.

She is not sure if this is what she really wants. Is this something like a blind leading blind story? Or it's just someone here who's trying to earn her living. I guess she's still very confused with this at the moment leading to the cloudiness in her mind.

Is she getting all the support she needed? Lots of friends offered their word of advise and comfort but her mind is still floating. I guess she need to change her life routine and get more fresh air rather than getting trap in her house all the time. She can't wait to meet up with someone she really wishes to meet after so long. Hopefully, that'll lift her up a little bit. She has long to talk to someone whom she's really comfortable with for sometime. I guess she just long to go home.

Hopefully, things will get better. She doesn't know if she could tolerate another fall.

msn...

The conversation that touched my heart and hence started crying thereafter...

willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
can u now come back n start a clinic ar?~
~willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
as a doctor~
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
cannot.....i have do 2 years of housemanship with msian government first....
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
but i am not going home this soon
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
hope to complete my specialist training overseas before going home
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
so i might go home after 9 years????
~willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
......~
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
that time as an official surgeon i hope
~willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
9 years from now?~
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
9 years......yea
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
sound so long
~willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
...~
~willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
tat's too long~
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
what to do....
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
if i try to work in msia...it'll take me forever to be a surgeon..like 14 years or so
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
9 years...already 5 years reduce from that
~willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
then when u come back do u expect me to stil remember how u look like?~
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
i'll of course go home for holiday once a year!!!
~willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
.......~
but u also dun come back this year~
~willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
u c~
~willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
we all here start eatin moon cake eeeh~
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
this year i dont have holidays...i also want to some back..see lah....i might come home the end of this year...depending on my schedule
~willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
end of this year eei...~
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
not sure...but next year for sure
~willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
.......~
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
but probably can only go home like 2 weeks per year
~willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
then year after next~
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
every year only 2 weeks
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
cos if i start working...i only have 4 weeks of holidays
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
per year
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
where can go home so long
~willy~ i stil regrettin...~ says:
then da other 2 weeks leh~
***(-_-)***Sze Ling...continue countdown....towards final week!! =) says:
of course...i spend time cleaning my house or doing something else

Like everybody, i am no outkast in the typical brother-sister relationship, i.e, fighting and arguing with my brother since young but after being away from home so long, i think he really misses me as much as hating me bossing him around.

(-_-)