Life too short!!!!

My friend's first cousin has passed away due to suspected myocardial infarction at the age of 27 year-old! Live life to the fullest......

8 weeks...

Countdown.... : <

looking forward to...

yuko planning to come to canada to further her studies....can't wait for that!!!...even though she might be in BC, which is like 10 hours drive away but at least, it's still nearer than 10 hours of flight! this certainly helps lift my spirit! however, from past experience, i will not put in high hope until she confirms everything! loosing 2 close friends with one hopefully coming.....god (if there's one) is treating me well, i guess!

My "almost"-quarter life crisis episode

Basically, if you have read through my blog, you probably know that i am a walking crisis!

Here, i'll summarise my crisis!

I don't know,
where my future lies
where my path leading me
where my heart actually belongs to

I wonder,
how can i find my true-self
how can i live a-day-carefree
how my interest can actually sparkles

I am afraid,
that i am incompetent
that i am facing the world alone
that my life now is actually a mistake

Everyday,
I am judging my ability
I am helplessly confused
I am actually getting hopeless, yet trying hard to stand tall

Sign of stress is back with step 1 drawing nearer and clerkship is just a few days away. I know you are there for me to talk to whenever i declare so but i really wonder when will this crisis stop or at least pause for a moment?

Yay!

It's a little settling to think that i am one step nearer to my MD. Done with my final second year exam today! ^ ^

aiks....menses pain today. I had been plaqued by an atypical PMS.....everytime before my aunty comes visiting me, i will definitely be so-so-so sleepy like 2 to 3 days before it! Never heard of any similar complaints from anyone before. Actually i got myself an appointment with a sleep doc specialist to check on my daytime sleepiness concern. My friend said i am turning into a hypochondriac!

Similar auditory frequency

Hm...i wonder what does it mean when i found someone who actually like to listen to my selection of songs and vice versa! Sad but true, i have a predilection to slow songs and somehow these songs have similar theme - solitude-ness!! And i actually found someone who share this weird interest and like me, will not get bored listening to it over and over again....

Being loved or to love

Would you choose a guy who loves you more than you do although you think that he's not really your type or a guy of your type but he's someone who doesnt put you on top of his priority list or continue searching for Mr Perfect?

I don't know which option that i am going to pick.....hopefully it's destined so that i don't need to figure this out myself!

Mail....

What does it mean when you actually feel happy instantly when you receive a mail(ok...nowadays, more likely to be e-mail!).....does that mean you miss that person or that person is of somewhat important to you or it's just that you didn't hear from that person for quite sometime? Or you have more answers to this!!??

Type A- personality!

I know i have always been a type A person!!! But little did i know that there'a subdivision of A-! Which is good actually....here's what i got from a quiz that i completed just now!

You Have A Type A- Personality

You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Killed twice in 4 days.....

Hm...doesnt sound good to say something like that especially on my friend's bday! Happy Birthday Mich.... :) (ok...i could still afford to smile)

I swear i was still feeling ok coming out from Dr.Lau's office second time in 4 days. Until Susan was bitching with me about Dr.Lau!!! My stoned emotions started to melt...........anyone that enters his office will be put down no matter how brilliant their work was, whether it's his students or even his secretary (according to susan, he has changed uncountable number of secretaries).......hm...maybe i am not that competent after all...

hm....my bitterness faded i guess...i cant continue writing this post with the same emotion as just now....i stopped writing halfway to revert my attention back to the editing of the report!!! Anyway time for an afternoon nap now! :)

passion?

yein has been stressing out with her younger sis's application to go into med school. Her sis being young and naive, doesnt know much on how to go around when tough gets going. However, she still insists on studying medicine although the road is getting rocky. The passion is still burning strong in her. yein asked me if it's really worth going through all this for the sake of passion when we are all well aware that she'll not have any better days being in the same field as us in the future.

At that point, i started to question myself. Do i still have that passion i once had? I boldly answered that "i lost it all". Sometimes i really dont know why i am continuing all this. Needless to mention again that the stress is tremendous, after 4 1/2 years in med school and there's still at least 6 years to go before i can get my specialist license, the time needed for one to complete their training is absolutely draining. No wonder more than 50% of physicians will admit that at one point of their life they regretted choosing this profession.

I can sense that my stress level is collectively getting higher again......keeping my finger cross that i'll do well in usmle. Everyday i got to remind myself that i have to ace it. Everyday I have to try hard to lift myself out from any other problems in my mind. Everyday i see myself becoming more vulnerable. But i shall take this test with all my strength for whoever/whatever sake. For people who've been supporting me or for my future, i know i don't have a choice.

note: i just have to mention again that yakyoku cries what's exactly in my heart.
......naite naite naite doushite hito wa konna ni yowai no darou?.......

Face

I got a fortune cookie today and this is what i got from it:

God gave you one face and you created another face.

What does it mean?

all in an instant

a friend of mine was putting this up as her msn nick and it caught my attention for a while......it's pretty true, don't you think so?

It happens in an instant.
I'll be sitting or standing or walking or talking.
I'll be thinking about something , anything, nothing at all.
But then, there you will be, racing through my mind. making my heart race.
The very thought of you , in an instant, makes me glow