Daily consumption

I have always wanted to blog about my current diet. As a self-confesed food lover and critique, i think my (taste bud) ability to differentiate superb gourmet food and ordinary cuisine is fading. You can easily judge that from :

I used to eat
(for breakfast) : dim sum, fruit or rice crepes, roti canai, nasi lemak, various steamed buns or glutinous rice, porridge, egg tarts, soy products or hawker stall's selection of noodles.
(for lunch) : various roast meat or a variety of dishes with rice, chinese stir-fry or more hawker stall's selection of food.
(for dinner) : western, vietnamese, greek, japanese, thai, korean, mexican or nasi lemak again...ok...all the choices mentioned above can be served as dinner as well.

Currently,
(for breakfast, lunch or dinner) : my own home-cooked food, salad, cereals with milk/yogurt, sandwich, fruits and fruits and fruits!

As work is getting increasingly busy, i don't cook as much as i used too. I don't even cook a lot of those technically challenged dishes. I did not predict myself to start eating healthily at the age of a quarter of a decade. It's way too early!!! However, i guess that's what i get when i prayed for protection against esophageal or gastric cancer!



(-_-)***i don't even get to drink a decent cup of soy milk or enjoy a bowl of soft beancurd here

affection

I have been wandering how i should or what i wish to share in this post. I don't like the idea of change, have always love and treasure old stuff or surrounding. I know i am ancient. However, soon, there'll be a little if not a big one happening. It's been unusual or at least i did not think that it would become somewhat a real teaser when it finally arrives.

I have been sealing out most my thoughts to avoid it from turning into something else. Well, it's likely to be, er, i think it can be called transient affection disorder (?).... O.o ...

I really don't know what i should write about this person who did give me some butterflies feelings that was suppressed just as quick as it arised. Knowing that trying to pursue something which will create more layers of intricacy is just as good as creating more headaches, it's better to let nature takes its place.



(-_-)***life should be simple

Labile

I think female is born to be emotionally-labile . When i wrote my last post, i did have tons of stress. However, as day passes by, i have and am still learning to let go minute details. And probably being new to a surrounding (team) didn't help my anxiety.

I miss my mentor in Calgary, as much as i am allowed to do stuff in the OR now, i doubt i'll find another person who will have as much trust in me . I am probably going to be wrong by saying that, because my future pt(s) will. I can't wait to go to Calgary for electives!


(-_-)*** yawns.... ++ droopy eyelids already!

Home?

Finally am back to my home rotation
Having yearned for it since it all started
Self-expectation has been running high
Just as high as self-dissapointment
Hate the fact that stress has been imminent
Is there a need to be in a pressure-cooker?
Every little mistake is perceived as the end of the world
That summarises the anxiety for the past one week

I certainly have not live up to myself
The feelings of ineptness is killing me
Why can't i learn to relax
and just take every pebbles as it is and not magnifying it?
I hate myself for this

Have said all these
It's still something that i wouldn't curse waking up to
in the middle of my dream.
It's still something that i will feel good
even if there's just one right decision that was made
even if there's just scut
even if it's just being a human retractor in the OR

It feels claustrophobic and yet i hope to thrive in it
Am i just incompetent?
Why am i constantly looking for challenges?
I mean challenges that can extend beyond my reach
Is this one of those?
I pray not


(-_-)*** do i know me?