Go Flames Go!!!

never thought that i would be watching ice hockey.....what more rooting for Flames...but i am always into any sports ...so watching some fast interesting games especially Stanley Cup finals wouldn't be something that comes out of the blue.....Go Flames Go after all....if they win...everyone in Calgary is happy so it's something good to happen!! Beverly Craven...don't know why i am beginning to like her song 'promise me'.... the song seems to linger in my mind after a few repetition....i think i am not those that'll easily get bored if i like something..........

Friendship

I think at this point of my life, friendship still holds a vital position in me..... i don't know whether those people will find that it's lucky to meet me or not...but i can tell you that if i tell myself that i am going to make that person my friend, i will be willing to do anything for that person...maybe because of that, i'll be deeply distressed when those people are spiritless or if they are happy, i'll be extremely delighted...but i ain't that saint after all....i do make mistakes that i actually regretted but i am just a human....toast to my friendship with people that i am thinking now!!!!

TY

i know you might feel a bit tired of listening to the same name but she's down again....sigh...wonder how i can help her.....i think my mood is affected when she's like this.....

Scientist

I am now working in lab 2904.....feeling a bit excited when i am holding the pipet and titrating stuff....but at the same time feeling lazy to read so many journals.....and i dread to think that i'll have so many things to handle in the coming months......my normal uni exam, research work (with a really good but strict professor) and alas USMLE!!!!Again, i want to stress that i still want to go to the UK for my residency....but i actually don't know where i belongs to...malaysia, US or UK??? I am still confused...just don't know where my life is leading to.....can i just meet someone and then settle down? I think that's the best solution that i can think of....but where to find 'the one'???????????????????? The future just hold too much of uncertainties........

Diary

I actually don't know why i am writing diary again....is it because i need someone to share more things with me...i need a place to pour out all my emotions.....Benji (ok..he was asking about this URL just now....) told me to start a blog when i already had one...weird, i think more and more people start writing with blogspot......i do feel like reading his blog...but little did he know that i am not that '8' after all. I think i am only interested to know what's happening to people that i really really care.....

Michelle

Hm....few days back when Michelle (my bestest friend!!) told me that she had some antithyroid antibodies against her thyroid...it did frighten me...i wasn't even using my knowledge to make some senses that it wasn't something that is really serious...but the fact that she had some disease made me worry.....at this stage, i really hope that all my dear friends and of course my family will be safe and sound!!

My housemates

You must be thinking why among my two housemates, I am always talking about TY and Su... i don't understand it as well....there's just something about TY.....Su...she's a pleasant girl....now i am kinda planning a surprise birthday thingy for her....a cake lit up with balloons around it...will she be delighted when she sees it? Recently, she came back buying FCUK clothes for me and TY...she's just another girl who will put friends above her....thanks gal!! Oh....and i got to say that Su got endless numbers of admirers....guys just get attracted to her...no doubt, she's pretty...while TY is kinda settled down with her fiancee...me is still searching for the one....wonder when only it'll appear...but i am too lazy to go out and socialise. Now that i got myself a research, with USMLE next year and endless number of exams....i don't even have enough time for myself...

Feeling really really down

It has been a long time since i last feel so scared on an exam results....i checked the answers and the way i wrote the exam is one of worst in my life....i am so afraid that i'll fail it...I swear i studied for it but things just not going my way....i am really really scared that i won't pass this exam...i am waking up with palpitations and tears every morning......what a torment...please....i have to pass this exam.

Weird

I am not sure if it's alright to write a diary online but after all these years.....i feel like writing it again...

Hm....today TY is again in doubt on her path again...everytime i see her like this, it just makes me feeling helpless because i know i just don't know how to help her. I seriously hope that she can take things as it goes....to her, i might seems to be someone who's immature, someone who's brain is still not fully developed yet...in terms of thinking but i think i've been taking things the way i want it to be (at least it's not dwelling too far away)...i have been in a playful mood...not because i really like it but because if i am to be down like the rest then things won't be better either...i think this world always need a clown-like personality person to cheer up everyone.....in the next few post...i'll describe more about my personality...

Saying goodbye.....

Today, one of the senior leaves Calgary for good. One by one, they are leaving and probably will be all gone faster than I can realise. I dread the fact of having to say goodbye everytime because i don't know what lies in front. I fear the fact that i might not see them again. Whenever TY brings on the matter of SH and her leaving 'soon'....i have to control my tears from pouring out....my tears duct is so sensitive even to a mild teasing. I know i'll definitely miss them a lot. I seriously never expect to meet people like TY and SH. Fate brought them to me when i was really lonely. I just have no words to describe how much they mean to me even only knowing them for a short time. Just hope that this coming few months will only be better.

Interesting discussion

Today i had an interesting discussion.....and i realise something....one of the reason why i am still strong at times because i find strength in my family and friends. I had to say that my parents are always supportive of what i am doing without much questioning while friends.....thanks...i actually find an inner strength in doing things because i know whatever or however that i am going to do something....i know that i have someone who always have this belief in them that i can do something that is not easily achievable....i know i have a place to fall back...and this really helps especially at times when i doubt myself.

Sunday

Just got back from a short break.....escaping to Le Chateau Lake Louise, one of the posh hotel in Canada....i was expecting something majestic from the hotel as in the architecture and the intertior design but i was a little dissapointed by it....however, what it could offer is the picturesque Lake Louise....spent an hour in the morning (after awaken by the fact my endo exam is by the door step) studying at the lakeside overlooking the lake, Rockies and valleys....kinda breathtaking....but i still prefer the view when i was at sunshine ski village....it's just so so wide and beautiful, the feelings was none other than I AM ON TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN......what a creation!!

No mood

As you probably can tell that i am in no mood to do anything else....i'll just keeps on posting till i feel like whatever i want to say is poured out!!! Anyway, tonite i'll be going to a sort of farewell dinner....so i got to concentrate in doing some readings now!!!

Home

Back home, the reason i really feels like going home is because of my dogs but here, the reason i really feels like going home is because i really feel at home....again, weird feelings but true....i just love living with these 2 girls now.....or else i wouldn't stay at home this much! Whenever Su ponders the idea of them graduating and leaving Calgary, i do know that 'the' day will come where i'll just miss their presence terribly!!! Anyway, like what Su said...as long as i am happy with the way things go now.....the rest is not important as of now.

posting pictures

Sigh...i spent 2 hours doing nothing at the end because i wasted it all on trying to set up some file transfer thingy....kinda frustrated now as i am unable to figure how to do that...i wish i could post pictures of my doggies here but i guess, i'll have to wait till i am done with my exam which is on next thursday!

Canada

Coming to Canada for the first time......I have longed to study abroad since young but the feelings wasn't like what i've expected when i was on the plane ride to Canada on Aug 1, 2003. Maybe because i yearn to go to the UK after my wonderful trip in 1997. Moreover, there's someone in the UK that i wish to meet. The first few months in Calgary was a tough time...trying to accustom to a new living style....there's definitely no cultural shock but i had to admit that i was feeling homesick. I miss my normal daily chores especially looking after my dogs badly. However, I was really lucky to meet one lovely CBC named Hoi Yan...she's my first Canadian friend! Then i met 2 other senior malaysians whom i can relate very well.....Because of them, my life in Canada is brightened up.

May 14,2004

Today, i went to EM's blog after checking her TVB news....then it lead me to Bernie's blog. After reading a few of Bernie's posts, i decided that i should set one up for myself. Here i am with loumurnos@blogspot.com......Lou Murnos...this name is made up of the combination of all my dog's name....Louie, Murnos and Oscar. Louie is a German Shephard, Murnos = a cutie beagle while Oscar is my favourite among all, a smart and the most macho Rottweiler ever to me.....however he died when he was barely 5 years old... a relatively short lifespan for a dog. He died because of a cancer known as lymphosarcoma. By the time we discovered it, it had spread all over his body. Forever mising you, Oscar. Till today, i still haven't gotten out from the misery yet......

Oscar

On April 10,2004.....approximately 2.30am (msia time 4.30pm), I received a call from my brother telling me that my beloved rottweiler named Oscar passed away. I was too shocked to believe it. I was seriously in denial state as i just couldn't accept the fact i wouldn't be able to see and play with him anymore. Never have i felt so sad before. Draining my lacrimal duct was the only thing that i could do . Trying to act normally in the morning....wishing to hide it from my housemates with the reason that i don't want to spoil their day as we should be going snowboarding. I broke down so many times up in the Rockies. Seeing the sky so wide and bright, all i could think of was, where is my Oscar now? Are you in the sky starring at me? I just can't help but reminisced all the good memories that this lovely doggie had brought to me. All his mischievous acts were only intended to make me smile. Still remember the first day i got him back from the breeder. He was barely 3 months old (around Aug 22,1999), i already knew that I'll shower all my love to make sure that he's going to be luckiest dog ever. Nothing less than 100% was given to look after him. I just didn't feel tired at all. It was more like fulfilling after spending a day playing and grooming him. However, soon after i bought my ticket to fly back on April 12, hoping to see him for the last time, he passed away without wanting me to witness his death....perhaps he knows i'll be devastated at that moment..... :^(