From TO ?

Well, i have not arrived in Toronto yet! I am still in London (another city which has to be called London in Ontario, Canada!) at bel's place. I had a good sleep after being sleep deprived for 2 nights in a row. Well, i was on call 3 nights ago and the following night was due to the fact that i am in vacation mood!!!! hehe...too excited to go to bed! lol.

It's great to see bel bel and sean again, half a year after they left st.john's. I do miss their presence in st.john's. Yesterday i got to meet ah mong aka CJ (chiew junior) aka bel's baby for the first time! haha. ah bel has a huge belly now at 4 months of gestational age! ah mong will be a super cute and chubby baby. I haven't have the chance to feel it's movement yet! Never mind, i still have 4 more days!

I, have no right to be complaining. I am being pampered again by my credit card insurance company. My luggage is delayed yet again and i have $500 to spend. I spent it all in 2 hours! Well, one has a maximum of $500 to spend until the delayed luggage is being delivered back to "poor owner". It wasn't difficult to shop for $500 worth of necessities! What a good start to my vacation!



(-_-)***...(^ ^)

Merry Christmas...a belated one!

Yes...a belated merry christmas wishes to everybody! Hope that Santa had brought joy to everybody! I have been busy enjoying this holiday season as well as being on call one in every two days for the past week. I ain't going to complain about my work as everyday, i am learning to be even more content with what 's been given to me.

This year's christmas celebration was fun! Well, we celebrated it 2 days earlier and 2 days in a row as i have to work on xmas day. As how it has been for past 2 years in newfoundland; party mood started since mid-december as endless end-of-the-year party invitations pour in towards christmas and new year. This year, i have kept myself much low profile, not wanting to attend most of the parties, i think i am getting older! haha. I much prefer to stick around with close friends and this year we were at lillian's for most part of December! I wonder how much time i had spent in my own place! Well, she owns a big house that can host all of us all the time! So, why not! We opened presents (multiple presents from one person to another) on the 23rd and it was really enjoyable. The funniest moment was when nicole opened the present she bought for jean and she didn't even realise it at that moment and look a bit confused. Blame it on lillian as lillian wrapped it and give it to nicole thinking that it was nicole's present.

I have received great xmas presents myself. First, i got a kettle (something i wish to get since the start of this year...thank goodness i didnt need to wait till next year to own one! lol), then got a MAC cosmetic set (should i give it to my sis!??), a super soft fleece throw (dark green and brown fleece...totally my color!), a lovely heart-shape swarovski necklace that i really like (i am wearing it now! ^ ^), a set of my dearest Elizabeth Arden skincare products!!! (this is something expensive that you girls shouldnt have spent on!! but thank you so much!!), very very cute musical decoration/tapper from Hallmark, air freshener diffuser, a very adorable battery operated hand milk mixer and lots of chocolates!!! What a list!

On Christmas day, i had so much food even when i was on call! I started in the morning with my usual banana fix! Then in the ward, the nurses made brunch (ham and hash brown casserole), for lunch my colleague (who initially invited me to her house for christmas lunch with her family but i cannot attend as i have to work) delivered me turkey dinner and for supper it was another delivery of turkey spaghetti. Burp...i was really stuffed!

It was a warm christmas!


(-_-)*** thank you...

Being stasis

(-_-)***.......empty

Veisalgia

.....also known as hangover. That is what i am getting now with some bad headache spells. Managed to survive today's working hours! Arrived at work at 8am today while other residents only went to work at 11am. One actually show up at 5pm, just in time to be on call!

Thank god that i truly love my job. At least it helps in balancing my spirit, suppressing other possible problems or emotions from surfacing. My last day of surgery today, will not (likely) to be operating until 6 months from today! aiks... =(

I am very glad to hear from my mentor today. He said Calgary will almost likely have a job for me in the near future. This is what keeping me in tab..knowing that i am still wanted! Well, that is unless i go and screw it up myself during my elective (work attachment) there next year!


(-_-)***am going to hit the bed now...

Motivated

It is another great day of operating. I can just feel my skills improving everyday. Today, I felt overwhelmingly excited when Dr.Felix decided to let me repair an inguinal hernia myself with a medical student. I did feel a bit nervous when all he offered was; "Make the right decision, girl". Anyway, the surgery went well and obviously, i ended up feeling really good.

Happy birthday jean. Sorry dear that i will not be able to spend the night out with you girls and one guy tonite! Hope you will have great fun!


(-_-)***chef-to-go dinner is going to be another gourmet experience!

Gift-wrapping

Christmas used to be a time where my parents bought gifts for me. Those were the days. Now, i am enjoying the fact that i have gotten gifts for others. I know i embrace shopping. Wrapping gifts is certainly something enjoyable especially the after-wrapping sight. Placing the gifts next to each other, looking at the neatly wrapped colorful gifts actually gives me a delightful feeling. They look so cute! (^ ^)


(-_-)***awaiting christmas!

Leisure thoughts

"What we observe is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning".....Werner Heisenberg

We wish to get love rather than to give love
We wish to seek understanding rather than to understand
We wish to seek self-confidence and end up embracing arrogance
We wish to seek recognition rather than recognising others
We wish to hear no criticism but like to critise others
We wish to think we are victim and be oblivious to grudge
We wish to hold on to memories rather than acknowledging attachments
We wish no more of such selfish thoughts as we realise it actually started from within.


(-_-)***there is just so much to life

PR status

I did not think of blogging on the day i got my canadian PR status (which was two days ago). I did not have any special feelings like being pleased or elated by the fact that it is finally done after going through all the troubles in wanting to get it. I was like....in an euthyroid state....er...that means feeling just as usual. I guess there will not be any bad circumstances arise with this status, i will only benefit from it. I am now free of the need to apply for visa, working permit and getting most of the advantages of a canadian except voting or gaining a place in the federal government. "yay" (stop being cynical!)

Do i feel more at lost with my identity? Yes, definitely. I really don't know where i belong to. I really dislike this feeling. I truly hate grey area. I love black and white answers but in reality we are always in the grey zone. I should get myself busy again rather allowing this kind of feelings to get to my brain. Imagine that i will not be operating in the next 6 months (maybe even 9 months!!)...what a torture!

This "soon-to-be-the-end-of-the-year" mood is really getting to me now. I am just feeling lazier and lazier. I am lucky that recently i am able to escape to a friend's place to chill out whenever i like. I may even have overdone that. I am feeling more attach to this group of friends now and i am wondering if i should withdraw a bit as attachment will only enable the cyclic of existence in karma. qiqi, you shouldn't have reminded me that all good things come to an end! Now, that is disseminated in my mind! But still, i love you loads! =P


(-_-)***i am fine, i just have too much time!


note: if only i can spend my time shopping at 50% discount store! "envious of mich"

Weekend blue

It's one and a half hour to midnight. Then it's time to go to bed as i am on call tomorrow (sunday). I am feeling lazy as it is another great hang out weekend. I am stuffed with great dinner again. Year end is arriving, holiday season mood is slowly creeping into my mind as i am feeling lazy to work or study. Maybe fatique is getting to me. I am just glad that my current rotation is going well. Hopefully it will end well next week.

Aiks....just feeling lazy wishing that i need not to be on call tomorrow! =P My one week vacation is coming soon. I think it will be a good break after not having one for the last 6 months. And i can meet CJ! hehe


(-_-)***if only i can also call in sick without repercussion!


note: mich, i also want a LV wallet!

Home-cooked food at work

I have not eaten in my workplace's cafeteria for a long while. I always ensure that i make my own lunchbox, or else, i will snack on some free crackers. Food from the cafeteria harbors lots of bad calories and it also cost a quarter of a bomb to buy a meal there! So, i tend to stay away from that place!

The recent call nights/mornings have been really sweet! That's because i have dinner and breakfast delivered to me! How spoiled and pampered! I have gotten to know a friend who can cook superbly -- > I had excellent pork ribs dinner yesterday and now i am eating seafood fried rice in my call room, drinking hot milk tea that i was actually wishing for hours earlier!! How did qiqi know i was craving for that!? It is not the first time that i have felt so gratified. Bel bel had brought me food (chicken rice) made by cardiologist "S"! This just show how much i wish to say thank you to all for being such great friends!

How can i not feel happy while being at work?



(-_-)***back to the operating room now! muaks!

Another humbling episode

I have started to realise that whenever i misjudge, misinterpret, misknow, misread, misdiagnose or miss-an-answer, i am not feeling as humiliated as before. I learned the feeling of being humbled. It is actually a very serene feeling. There is always so much to learn and know. It gives me motivation and encouragement to keep wanting to learn more to avoid similar situation from happening again.

Yesterday, i dealt with a patient whom i hope is resting in peace now as he was a sick lovely old man. It is an extremely sad feeling to see him go after what i had done for the past few weeks and more so after a full day of effort yesterday ( 5 hours of operation and followed by intense post-op roller coaster events ). It reminds me again life is so fragile and unpredictable. I am certainly learning to be a better physician/surgeon and enjoying it even more with every passing day. I certainly didn't lie when i wrote in my personal letter that i woke up feeling happy to go to work.

That's so far the update of my love-hate-relationship with my job/ambition.



(-_-)***I often wear a smile at work (^^)